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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303605">Care and Feeding of your Vampire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischif/pseuds/Icka%20M%20Chif'>Icka M Chif (mischif)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blanket Permission, Blood Drinking, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Sleepy Cuddles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:08:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischif/pseuds/Icka%20M%20Chif</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know."  Sam whispered, looking terrified.</p><p>"What? That you're a vampire?" Guy paused, then closed the newspaper. "Wait. Was it supposed to be a secret?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Guy Am I &amp; Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Care and Feeding of your Vampire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>Guy bit back a smile as Sam stretched and yawned, his fangs distending from the roof of his mouth as his jaw disconnected for a moment, like a snake. Then Sam's jaw snapped shut as he smacked his lips together, teeth a solid blunt line again.</p><p>Really, Guy didn't know who Sam thought he was fooling. He was so bad at disguising that he was a vampire.</p><p>"Morning, Sam." Guy drawled from the bunk across from Sam in the train car. Sam slowly turned his head to look at Guy, eyes half-lidded and blurry. With a groan, he rolled out of the bed, stumbled the few steps to Guy's side of the car, and stopped face first with his nose pressed against Guy’s ribs.</p><p>Not hungry then. Guy usually only needed to be on guard when Sam dove for the pulse points, such as his thighs, arms, and neck. Although Guy did have an advantage on that last one, his pale ruff working as an excellent deterrent for Sam's fangs.</p><p>Although it was always amusing to see Sam not-awake and cranky whenever he found himself with a mouth full of the long hair around Guy's neck. As if it were some sort of personal insult to him, keeping him from Guy's delicious blood.</p><p>Or so Guy assumed. It was hard to be annoyed with him though, not when Guy could easily pick him up and move him, Sam grumpily protesting like a sleepy kitten.</p><p>He wrapped an arm around Sam, partially as a good morning hug, which Sam liked, and partially to check Sam's ribs, which Sam didn't seem to notice. Sam was a bit cool to the touch, having not warmed up yet, which Guy figured was one of reasons for the morning cuddles. More importantly, Sam still had some padding on his ribs, so a normal breakfast should suffice, no need to look for something to supplement the usual green eggs and ham. Not that Sam ever really seemed to need that much blood in his diet, just the occasional mouthful or two.</p><p>And from the way Sam was already attempting to fall back asleep while leaning on Guy, there was no hurry in going out and getting food.</p><p>Guy chuckled to himself, turning his attention back to the newspaper, happy to let Sam cuddle for a few more minutes, or at least until Sam was verbal, at which point he'd be embarrassed to be caught snuggling, and pull away.</p><p>There was something to be said about slow mornings, when they were already on their way to wherever they were going. Guy liked trains for that reason, it was one of the least stressful ways for them to travel, and they could sleep through part of it.</p><p>He went to turn the page, and hissed as he hit the paper at just the wrong angle, slicing his skin through the fur. It burned, a bead of blood welling up on the tip of his finger, and he almost stuck it in his mouth when a soft whine caught his attention.</p><p>Sam had gone from sleepy and lax to tense and intent, his usually dark eyes the bright red colour of his hat, gaze fixed intently on Guy's finger. Guy shrugged. "Here you go." He offered his finger to Sam. It wasn’t more than a couple of drops, not like it'd ruin Sam's appetite.</p><p>Sam grabbed his hand and instead of sticking Guy's finger in his mouth like Guy would have done, just held it steady in front of his lips. Sam's pink tongue flickered out and tasted him, the vampire letting out a soft happy little moan.</p><p>Guy swallowed, as Sam did it again, the rough texture of his tongue going with the grain of his fur pulling a little more blood from the cut. Not a lot, just enough for Sam to get a bit more, eyes half-lidded and curved up in pleasure.</p><p>Another lick, and the cut was healed up, no more blood. Sam let out a happy little sigh, rubbing his face against Guy's hand, cradling it close as he leaned against Guy's side again.</p><p>There were times, like this, when Guy's heart would trip in double time at these tiny moments of intimacy. Where Sam trusted Guy enough to be vulnerable, especially when he wasn’t awake. </p><p>Someone needed to keep an eye on Sam, and it might as well be Guy. It wasn't like it was a hardship, caring for his small friend. </p><p>"May I have my hand back, please?" He asked, tone light and amused. </p><p>Sam made a cranky noise, nearly pouting as he looked up at Guy, making him laugh.</p><p>"You can have it back later." Guy smiled. "Promise."</p><p>Sam gave a giant sigh and released his hand, letting Guy turn the page. It was awkward holding the paper up in one hand, but Guy did as he'd said he would, and offered the hand back to Sam, arm wrapped around his small form.</p><p>Sam took the hand back, sniffing the fingertip that'd been cut, as if hoping for another treat. His eyes were black, so it was more curiosity than hunger.</p><p>"No biting." Guy reminded him. Sam grumbled in the back of his throat in response, then cuddled the hand close, pressing his face against Guy's side again. Sam let out a sigh, and then relaxed, as if drifting off to sleep again.</p><p>Only to jerk away a second later, releasing Guy's hand and staggering backwards away from the bunk. Guy looked over to find Sam staring at him, eyes wide and nearly popping out of his head, jaw hanging open in what looked like shock.</p><p>"Everything okay?" Guy inquired, wondering what could have startled Sam like that. Usually Sam took a little while longer to gear all the way up, probably something to do with vampires being nocturnal or the whole ‘warming up’ thing. </p><p>Although he wasn’t sure how much stock to put in vampire myths. Sure, Sam wasn’t fond of garlic, but sunlight didn’t hurt him in the least. </p><p>"I... You...." Sam gestured back and forth between them. "Blood."</p><p>"What?" Guy picked up the newspaper, since his hand was free. "It was only a couple of drops. Figured you could use it more than me. And you heal paper cuts up nice and quick."</p><p>Sam made a high-pitched noise in the back of his throat, similar to a tea kettle. "You know."  He whispered, still looking terrified.</p><p>"What? That you're a vampire?" Guy paused, then closed the newspaper. "Wait. Was it supposed to be a secret?"</p><p>"YES!" Sam flailed. </p><p>"Oh." Guy thought about it for a moment. "You're not very good at keeping it a secret."</p><p>"How did you figure it out?!" Sam exclaimed. "<i>When</i> did you figure it out?"</p><p>"Several months ago." Guy confessed, one of his eyebrows rising at Sam's reaction. "You're not exactly subtle about it. And I'm pretty positive McWinkle knows and tried to clue me in."</p><p>Sam made a distressed noise. "<i>McWinkle</i> knows?!"</p><p>"He's the one who showed me your wanted posters." Guy tilted his head to the side. McWinkle revealing Sam’s profession and the multitude of Sam’s alias’ had made Guy realise that he knew little to nothing concrete about Sam or his past. After that, he’d started watching Sam more closely. </p><p>And found a lot of things he hadn’t been expecting. </p><p>"Didn't you know that wanted posters have the release date on them?” Guy asked. “Hector Jive's been wanted for over 20 years, and Sham Shamford from before the turn of the century. You've got the exact same face on all of them, you haven't aged a day."</p><p>"Oh." Sam looked like he'd never thought of that.</p><p>Guy rubbed the back of his neck. "And we've been travelling together for almost a year. If anyone else ate the same diet of nothing but green eggs and ham every day, they'd have scurvy by now."</p><p>"... Oh."</p><p>"Then there was the one time you woke up to catch a rat that was in the room we were staying in and slurped it up." Guy admitted. He hadn't exactly seen what Sam did to the rat, just that it was gone come sunrise. "You had blood on your mouth in the morning too."</p><p>"Oh. My. <i>Stars</i>." Sam grabbed the brim of his hat, pulling it over his face.</p><p>"Oh. And you sometimes try to nibble on me when you're not awake." Guy only allowed it if he knew Sam wasn’t going to actually bite hard enough to draw blood. It seemed to be a comfort thing, and it didn’t hurt. Although he did his best not to encourage it.</p><p>He decided he wasn't going to talk about the yawning thing. The yawning thing was cute and he didn't want Sam to feel self-conscious about it. Even if it had been a little disconcerting the first time he'd seen it. "And your eyes turn red when you're hungry."</p><p>Sam whined.</p><p>"They flash red when you're angry too." Guy added thoughtfully. "Although that's not as often."</p><p>"I get it." Sam mumbled, still hiding his face. "I'm bad at hiding it."</p><p>"Only around me, I think." Guy reached over, pulling the brim of Sam's hat up so he could see Sam's face. "I thought it meant you felt you didn't have to hide it."</p><p>That he was comfortable enough around Guy not to have to keep up a facade.</p><p>"You don't mind?" Sam ventured, his voice cracking slightly as he raised his gaze to meet Guy's.</p><p>"Not in the least." Guy smiled. He held his arm open, silently offering a hug, and Sam practically leaped at him, climbing up onto his lap and pressing his face against Guy's chest, right above the heart.</p><p>"I thought you'd be afraid of me if you knew." Sam said, his voice muffled by Guy's fur.</p><p>"Nah." Guy drawled, rubbing Sam's back. It'd been a little startling when he'd started to put the pieces together, but after a while he forgot that it was unusual. Sam was Sam. "We still looking for your Mom?"</p><p>"Yeah." Sam nodded. "I want to know what happened to her. And how I became like this. It's not normal."</p><p>"Who's to say what's normal?" Guy shrugged. Normal for him meant hanging out with a vampire. And he liked his normal. "It's your normal. That's all that matters."</p><p>"Hmm." Sam hummed, not quite agreeing, but not disagreeing either. "Thanks, Guy."</p><p>"Anytime, Sam." Guy promised, giving Sam a squeeze, which earned him a happy noise.</p><p>They cuddled for a moment, Sam eventually pulling away to yawn, disconnecting his jaw again. He paused in mid-yawn as if realising what he was doing and glancing up at Guy with a wary look.</p><p>"You do that every morning." Guy rolled his eyes. "I've seen it. What I haven't seen yet though, is breakfast."</p><p>Sam flexed his jaw for a moment, then closed it with a snap. "Breakfast sounds good." He agreed with a grin. "I could eat."</p><p>Guy just chuckled, already knowing what they were going to go eat. </p><p>Just another normal day for them, care and feeding for a vampire.</p><p>-fin-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Am working on a much, much larger GEAH Werewolf fic and figured if we were going to write werewolves, might as well write vampires too. And make it fluffy. And since we noticed a pattern in '<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098348">Curses and Cures</a>' and '<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775899">Favourite Parts of the Day</a>' that Guy seemed to know stuff before Sam, might as well explain how Guy knew stuff.</p><p>Random fact time! ‘Jive’ comes from the 1930/40s Harlem Jazz scene.<br/>The oldest use of ‘Sham’, meaning fake, is from 1677.<br/>I canon that GEAH takes place roughly in the mid-1960s, which is why ‘Hector Jive’s alias is over 20 years old, and ‘Sham Shamford’ is older.</p><p>Kudos and reviews are always appreciated, they let us know people like what they're reading, which in turn helps motivate us to write more. Please don't forget to kudo and review other people too, for the same reason.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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